Meet our featured beauty with brains Asima Sen, an eighty year old wife, mother, grandmother and great grandmother based in Purulia, India. She is a truly inspirational woman who never gave up hope and courage despite facing many trials and tribulations in her life. She never let the problems in her life change her positive and cheerful nature and always tried to help others no matter how needy she herself was. Here is her story.
“I was born in 1937 at Pabna (which was a part of India at that time, then became a part of Pakistan, and is a part of Bangladesh now). My father was a landlord who owned acres of land there. I was one of seven siblings. Tragedy first struck our family when I was 8 years old. My 6 year old brother died from Typhoid as his illness was misdiagnosed as Malaria due to the lack of advanced medical facilities at that time. We siblings used to share a big room and have so much fun together. His passing left a void in my life which nothing seemed to be able to fill. I remember crying myself to sleep every night. It took me a few years to get used to life without him.
India gained independence from the British in 1947. My eldest sister who was 14 at that time was already married by then. I was 10 years old. India was divided into two countries – India and Pakistan. Pabna became part of Pakistan – a different country! We were told that we Hindus have to go back to India or we will be killed. My parents didn’t know where to go with five kids. My uncle (mother’s brother) used to live in Purulia, India. So my parents sent us kids to live with him while they themselves decided to stay back and brave the circumstances.
My uncle was a builder. He used to build train stations. I was one of hundreds of people living in his palatial mansion, as there were many relatives, employees, poor villagers etc living there. I felt lost in the crowd and felt lonely despite having so many people around. I had to work hard to earn my keep, had to help in cooking, housework etc. It took me time but I slowly got used to that life.
When I was 15, my uncle told us that he was moving to another town and couldn’t support us anymore. I was homeless once again. We siblings were separated and sent to live with different relatives. I was sent to live with my eldest sister and her family, who also lived in Purulia.
I got married when I was 17. It was an arranged marriage. I loved my husband and finally found the happiness I was looking for, after all these years. My first daughter was born a year after my marriage. After that I had three more daughters. My husband badly wanted a son but I couldn’t give him one. The doctor advised me against having any more children after my fourth daughter was born, as I had some health complications. Society started looking down on me as I couldn’t have any sons.
When my youngest daughter was 2 years old, my husband had tuberculosis. He couldn’t work for a long time. Our savings started dwindling and we lived hand to mouth. I didn’t know where the next meal was going to come from. We had to sell land and jewellery. I have always helped the less fortunate and continued doing so even in these difficult times. One of our tenants couldn’t pay rent for a few months as they were going through hard times too. I never pushed them for payment or asked them to leave, as I understood their situation.
When my eldest daughter was 23, she married a boy of her own choice. My son-in-law turned out to be a very nice and generous man who helped us a lot. Then within a few years my other daughters got married too.
When my youngest daughter was 15, she eloped with a boy. That was a big blow to our family. I was worried about her as well as worried about what would people say. But luckily they came back after a few days after getting married to each other. He turned out to be nice and she was really happy with him so I was happy for her.
I don’t have any regrets in life. Now, I consider myself lucky to have four daughters instead of sons. They all love me and look after me. I have five grandchildren and one great grandchild. I am grateful to both the positive and negative experiences of my life, as together they have made me who I am today.”
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